Brittany 2007

Isn't she beautiful?? When did it happen, her not being a little girl anymore??
I spent this morning at a BETA club "tapping" ceremony. This was the first thing, in a VERY long time that Brittany specifically asked me to go to and be there, AND she had to dress up... so I was obviously very excited about going, and being a part of this. It was held in the gymnasium at the high school, and the ENTIRE school was there. All was good as the students entered, freshman, sophomores, then juniors. That's when ( as I tend to do)...I cried. The principal, came forward, and said, "Please stand as our seniors, the class of 2008 enter. I got a little teary-eyed, as I looked around at the parents, beaming, as was I, with pride as the seniors started to come in. They were in their robes (graduation style!), and I was just amazed. I saw several of Brittany's friends that she has played ball with, hung out with, got in trouble with! I couldn't believe how they had grown and changed. There was the little boy (Kyle) that in Brittany's first year of t-ball, ran out onto the field, and kissed my daughter! He is now a very handsome young man. The girl (Brittany H) that thought she was all that, and started doing things my Brittany didn't agree with, was now a very tired looking, chubbier (from partying), and not happy looking young woman. There were others that caught my attention...and then this beautiful, happy, smiling and proud young woman walked in...it was my daughter! She looked so grown up. Then it hit me, in 7 months, she will be making this same walk, (albeit in the stadium, not the gymnasium) and she will not be "tapping" anyone. She will be getting her diploma and getting ready to start a very exciting, new phase of her life. I found myself wiping away tears. Not of sadness though, (okay, maybe just a little!), they were more for happiness, excitement, and pride.
After the ceremony ended, the BETA club, new inductees, and parents were invited to a reception in the cafeteria. I had the most wonderful time! It was just Brittany and me, sitting off by ourselves, talking. About who is who, who is popular, who is not, what teachers are hot, or not, and about school in general. We also talked about college, and... just talked. It was one of the best times we've had in a very long time. And I will always remember it...always. After she ate a bagel (and made a horrible face after trying cream cheese!) it was time to go. I kissed her as I was leaving, told her I loved her. She kissed me on the cheek and said "I love you too."
I couldn't have been more proud!

Evan's heavenly ending to a bad week...

Last week was an eye-opening week for me. I have always put the situation with Evan's sperm donor kind of on the back-burner, with the attitude if we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist. Wrong! Evan had told me last week that his sperm donor had moved very close to us. My heart sank while he was telling me (and I later confirmed this with his grandfather), but I didn't say anything. He was so excited about his sperm donor's being so close to us now, his first comment was "Well, now my daddy can see me alot more". Wow, talk about speechless! How do you tell your 5-year old that it wouldn't matter if his sperm donor lived 20 feet away, next door, that he still would make the SELFISH decision to not see or spend time with his own child! I didn't say anything, except that it would be great if that happened, and we would see what happened. That seemed to satify him. So on we went with our week. He spent Sunday at Patti's for a birthday party (Patti's and his brother Corey). He got to spend the entire day with Corey and apparantly his sperm donor showed up at the very end of the party. Evan got home about 6:30 and was in a horrible mood! I finally decided that it was time for bed, so off we went. We talked about the day, and started to watch a movie, when all of the sudden, Evan started sobbing and crying. My heart again sank, I had lost my temper with him, and that is why we were going to bed so early, but normally that passes relatively quickly. I asked him what was wrong, and all he kept saying between sobs was "I miss my brother" "I want to see my brother" "I want him to come and stay with us". It tore me up! I wanted to say, you can thank your sperm donor for most of the heartache you will endure, missing your brothers, not having a "daddy" here at home, but I didn't say that, I just held him as he cried himself to sleep. When he woke up Monday, he seemed so depressed. I wanted to make it better for him. I tried to think of something that would help. Then it hit me! A massage! Everyone likes a massage! And he loved them when he was a baby! So I thought I'd give it a try!
So I got him in the shower, got a big beach towel, got some really good smelling lotion out, and when he got out of the shower, I put on his underwear and had him lay down. He absolutely loved it! He dozed off, and was actually drooling! It was soooooo cute! Brittany grabbed her camera and started taking pictures. That is what he is doing in this picture, dozing. You can't see it, but he is drooling too!
As I was putting him to bed, I told him that I don't get to see my brother and sister very often. And I miss them terribly. So when we are together, we try and have a really good time, and make it very special time. Just like he and Corey. Although they don't see each other very often, they can make the time they do spend together very special and make sure the other knows how much they are loved. It seemed to work, or at least satisfy him for now....but he has decided now that there is nothing better than having a massage!!! How cute!!!